Self

Dictonary.com states that self is "a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action."

Lately I have had to take a closer look at myself and evaluate what makes me uniquely different from others in many aspects of life. I have evaluated my worth in terms of my professional life and my personal life as well. Based on my own (self)assessment I realize that throughout my life, I have not always been (self)aware of when I need to make changes to ensure that I am not being undervalued and not living up to my fullest potential as a result. While I do recognize that I have made significant progress and accomplished a lot, I cannot help but to wonder where I would be if I always put myself first. To others on the outside looking in, it may appear that I put myself first... but I can recall numerous jobs, relationships and other situations when I have put myself last. I do not know why more often than not I ignore my own gut, instincts or heart to know when I am not taking care of myself in many circumstances. Perhaps that requires a deeper look into self than I have been willing to reflect upon. I now realize that I need to take a look at the things that cause (self)doubt and self(esteem) issues, which will likely reveal why I do not always present my whole self to the world and why I put myself last more often than not. I go over board giving others what they need so that they do not focus on the aspects of self that my (self)doubt tells me they would not embrace or understand. Certainly I am not alone in that revelation. I think most will agree that there are things we try keep to ourselves... in order to present our best self to the world. But personally I am discovering that only my true self is my best self...

I realize that in order to be my true self... I have to be a bit more selfish. I cannot give concerns about the opinions of others as I have for so many years... at this point in my life only my opinion matters. While being selfish may seem to have a negative meaning, I can assure you it is not the type of selfish that I have in mind. My definition simply means I will be myself... no matter what others say, think, do or even how they feel about it... because I know who I am... and I know that I can give more to the world if I am selfish about being the man God created me to be.

This is a brief introduction to a much deeper and richer story that this blog will be dedicated to telling. I look forward to all that 2018 has in store as I confront the past, embrace the present and plan for what I know is a brighter future. You do not need to read between the lines because this is just an introduction and I will share my story in my own time so just know that the best is yet to come as I not only understand who I am... but I finally love who I am.