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Diving Deeper

Writing is the main thing that has gotten me through some tough times over the years.  Sitting at my feet is a container full of things that I have written, dating as far back as high school... over twenty one years ago. There may even be some middle school journals in the mix.  

As I flip through page after page of poems, stories, quotes, songs, notes to self and unsent letters to others, I realize how I managed to overcome many difficult moments.  Writing really got me through some tough times.  There were many periods in my life when I was lost, afraid, heartbroken and even angry... but I always seemed to find peace and resolved things by writing my thoughts out.  Much of my journey to inner peace and happiness has been documented.  Eventually I hope share some of what I have written. I just have to make some time to sort through the countless pages of personal feelings, scribbled in enough composition and spiral notebooks to last me the rest of my lifetime. 

I am a bit amazed at how far I have come over the years and how I overcame a lot of the things that were troubling to me at one point in time. To analyze my own thoughts from key points in my life is just amazing.  It is one thing to remember something but to have it written down and fully expressed is something rather special.  The words are proof of what I sometimes reflect upon when things happen in life that remind me of past experiences.  I do not have to wonder if I am just letting my imagination get the best of me.  I know for certain what has caused me to be reminded of certain past experiences because I wrote those experiences down. 

Diving deeper, I am reminded that at times I have been depressed, hopeless, ashamed, fearful, angry, heartbroken and sad at points along my journey to be at peace with self... i.e. happy.  I point out the negative emotions and feelings because that is what seem to be the reason for my writings.  While that may be the case, I never let those emotions or feelings get the best of me or outweigh the many things in life that made me happy.  It seems I have been my own therapist over the years.  By writing during those points on my journey, I slowly rid myself of those emotions and feelings. For the most part I was able to overcome many of the emotions and feelings, but being human there were still traces of some things that not even writing could fully heal.  Writing things out helped me better deal with the feelings that could only truly be addressed head on with verbal communication and expression. 

All these years later, I have a much more optimistic outlook on life. I am no longer burdened by such emotions and feelings that at periods of my life were major burdens.  While I may have some emotional scars from some of the things that I have have experienced, those scars are just reminders of how strong I am.  Scars mean that we have been through some things, but we healed.  We all have emotional scars, so we do not need to be ashamed to let others see our scars.  

I conclude by stating that like you, I have been through a lot of things that I simply keep to myself. As I reflect on some of the things I have written about those experiences... I smile.  I am so incredibly proud of my ability to overcome the many things that once seemed impossible to comprehend let alone overcome. I have overcome many things and I lend my voice as a reminder that there is nothing you too cannot overcome.  

(Side note... I love a good quote and I love to define words so I can truly analyzing the meaning... as shown in previous posts). 

Writing in a journal reminds you of your goals and of your learning in life. It offers a place where you can hold a deliberate, thoughtful conversation with yourself.

- Robin S. Sharma

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